Author: Karla Rendon

FAITH AND DOUBT – PART 2

So Faith is attacked when The New Atheists uniformly say, “We base our lives on reason. You Christians base your lives on blind faith”.

But if reason is the authority when it comes to belief, and you can rely on reason because your own reasoning tells you – then you’re busted. It’s a totally circular argument. Unless you have something outside of reason to calibrate reason, you don’t know if your reasoning is accurate.

I think of this often when I watch debates. We, Christians, say Jesus died for our sins by crucifixion. Three days later He rose from the dead. Why do we believe that? Well, because the Bible says so is definitely one answer, but that answer won’t satisfy everybody. It will definitely not be enough for a Muslim, for example. Quran 4:157 says nobody kill Jesus nor they crucify Him. But God raised Jesus up to Himself.

When I began reading the Quran, my Bible stopped being the only source for my ‘reasoning’ – if that makes sense. Last year I found out that apart from the Bible, there are a lot of ancient non-biblical sources that talk about the crucifixion of Jesus as an event in history. When I evaluated the evidence that Islam has for Jesus not dying by crucifixion, I was confronted with many theories about it.

I read about different interpretations of that particular Quran ayat (verse). One interpretation is that God made Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus, look exactly like Jesus. So it was Judas who died. Another version is that the person who was crucified was not Jesus, but someone who bore His likeness, whom the Jews and the Romans had disgracefully put on the cross, while Jesus was standing nearby and laughing at their folly.

Yet another version is that the one who was nailed to the cross was Jesus, but He did not die on the cross, and was alive when He was taken down from it. They even argue Jesus might have died a natural death years later. But the theories (in Muslim Apologetics) go as far as they can go – as long as they have Jesus NOT dying on the cross.

But the more debates I watched, the more I knew that the position of the Muslim apologists was to say “We really do not have any further details, except that Quran tells us that Jesus was not the one who was crucified, but somebody that looked like Him”. 

I respect that. Absolutely I do. But I made the personal decision to go with the ancient historical evidence and not the theories. So I was able to calibrate the Bible with something outside of the Bible – call them Tacitus, Josephus, The Jewish Talmud. These accounts were not bad, given this information was coming from ancient accounts hostile to the Biblical record.

I realized that the Christian Faith is not that blind. Actually, it is not blind AT ALL.

Faith is a very important word in the New Testament. It is used over 24 times. Faith is so important that it is a prerequisite for being saved by God. On one occasion, a jailer asked Paul and his traveling companion, Silas, “What must I do to be saved?”  They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without Faith it is impossible to please God.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.

Hebrews 11:1-3

We can see several things in this passage.

FAITH IS RATIONAL. Biblical Faith is never set against reason. Biblical Faith – Christian Faith – involves thinking. It involves our brains. Christian Faith is never a leap in the dark. The Greek word for Conviction is Elenchos. It means proof. It’a a conviction that comes when something has been tested.

Faith is trusting what we have good reason to believe is true.

Faith is trusting the evidence of the One who promised.

Faith is the evidence of things not seen. Evidence that appeals to your mind. Take any fact of history. Sure, you can’t prove in a lab that the American Revolution took place, or that the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4th, 1776, or that George Washington was there when the Declaration of Independence was signed.

We believe this based on historical evidence – eyewitness testimony, records that were kept, historical investigations. There are lots of things that we reasonably believe that can’t be proven by the scientific method. But just because we cannot recreate them in a lab does not mean they never actually happened.

Was I there to see how Jesus died? No. Was I there to witness the Holocaust? No. But I believe the Holocaust happened because there are documents that were written about it. People preserved these records of history. I guess I can ALWAYS questioned whether the Holocaust took place because I wasn’t there to see it with my own eyes, but it is very likely that it happened. The same goes with the crucifixion of Jesus. And if you study the Resurrection – your mind will be blown away.

You can always find a counter-argument against Christianity. That’s for sure. You need to know, tough, that Christian Faith does not mean you have to be completely certain about something. Jesus tells us that even a little bit of Faith can go a long way. Faith IS NOT an all or nothing proposition.

I was so happy when I learned this.

FAITH GRABS HOLD OF THE FUTURE. Faith is the assurance – Hupostasis – of things hoped for. Faith gives substance to things. Faith reaches into the future Kingdom of God where life will be like when there are no wills contrary to God’s will – no human wills rowing in the opposite direction. Right now we rebel, and we want things contrary to what God wants for us. There are also demonic wills working in this present world.

But when the Kingdom of God is finally established on Earth, no child will ever die again. There will be no more cancer, no more heart disease, no more heartbreak, no more Alzheimer’s, no more diabetes, no more murders, or kids in jail, or funerals, or wars, or mental illness, or addiction. No more tears, no more crying, no more pain. God Himself will wipe your tears away. That is the hope given in Revelation 21:4 for all the children of God by adoption through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

So Faith gives substance to that future Kingdom and makes it real now. By Faith we bring God’s Kingdom of justice into this world now – as we work for justice. By Faith we grab hold of God’s future Kingdom of healing into the world  – as we pray for the sick. By Faith, we grab hold of God’s future Kingdom of forgiveness and we make it real now – as we forgive others and ask for forgiveness.

FAITH IS A WAY OF SEEING THE PRESENT. Faith is seeing life the way Jesus saw it. People say that Christian Faith is looking at life through rose-colored lenses. But Scripture says quite the opposite. Faith is taking off your rose-colored lenses. All the myths and lies that the marketing machine of this world keeps pumping out – “You can have it your way” or “Life is all about you and your desires – your wants”.

Jesus was the only clear-sighted person in all of human history. He is the only one who saw with perfect vision how to live a completely full life no matter what your circumstances are. Jesus taught that if you want to have a great life – what He called abundant life – you have to deny yourself. Do not try to affirm everything about yourself, instead, deny yourself.

Forgive everyone for everything they’ve done against you, and you will live a full life. Forgiving takes Faith that God will uphold you and defend you. Be patient when you have all the reasons to lose your patience. Respect your husband when he doesn’t deserve your respect – specially when he doesn’t deserve it. Love your wife when she is absolutely hard to love – specially when she is very difficult to love.

Christian Faith makes sense of this world.

Sources:

FAITH AND DOUBT – PART 1

A mom has a son who is asking if Christianity is true. This is a real mom I interact with, by the way. How can he trust the Bible? How do we know it is true? What if our faith is in vain? What if somebody made it all up?

All these questions are flooding her son’s mind because he has lots of friends challenging him at school. I do not have anything AGAINST these teenagers. I think it’s awesome they ask though questions. I recently discovered that when you look for answers, you find them. I am honestly all pumped when I write and when I read books, because I know that my children will ask me those questions. I want to be ready to give them answers for the reason why I believe what I believe.

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”

1 Peter 3:15

I have failed at being gentle and respectful. I know I have. I have asked God to forgive me, and also the people I wronged. That being said, disagreeing with people over faith issues is inevitable. I want to challenge my children to look for TRUTH. I myself don’t want to be lukewarm saying, “Well… this is my truth, then you have your truth, and all of us are right – somehow”

I don’t believe in Relativism.

Truth is true – even if no one knows it
Truth is true – even if no one admits it
Truth is true – even if no one agrees what it is
Truth is true – even if no one follows it
Truth is true – even if no one but God grasps it fully

I want to encourage my children to ask God to guide them when looking for Truth, because when your heart is set on finding Him, then He will show you who He is – guaranteed.

So I am writing this post for this teenager struggling, for myself, for my children, and for all the people who struggle or have struggled, or who will struggle with the concept of Christian Faith. All the credit goes to Rich Nathan, and Abdu Murray. I am just here to share what I have learned from them, and interpolate my own experiences.

I hope somebody finds this useful in their own spiritual journey. I encourage you to listen to the resources I provide at the end of this post.

WHAT IS FAITH?

You might be interested to know that there a lot of writers and thinkers who call themselves the “New Atheists”. One of the core New Atheist assertion that is repeated endlessly is Richard Dawkins’ statement that Faith is blind trust, in the absence of evidence, even in the teeth of evidence.

For Dawkins, Faith is a kind of mental illness. Dawkins and others rail against Faith because whereas the New Atheists prove their convictions with reason, religious people live in a fantasy world totally disconnected from reality. As Richard Dawkins puts it, Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence.

And so the New Atheists love to talk about blind faith or something taken on faith or a leap of faith. What they mean is that people who have Faith are acting and believing without sufficient justification. People’s beliefs that are not supported by facts or logic. People embracing ideas despite an absence of evidence or proof.

I was definitely in this category.

For the most part of my experience as a Christian, I relied on reading my Bible and I never questioned its authenticity. So it wasn’t until my friends challenged me on the reliability of the Bible that I actually began asking the same kind of questions my friend’s teenager is asking.

What if the Bible is actually corrupted? What if I have blind faith? What if Jesus never died? Is that possible at all? Was I misguided into Christianity? What if I chose Christianity because I was never exposed to other religions? What is Faith?

So when I began having all these reasonable questions – that undoubtedly come when your faith is challenged – I felt awful. I felt guilty, and I felt like I was not supposed to doubt. I had no idea what to do. I wish I had had the “guts” to say, “The Bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it for me”.

But I couldn’t do that. I had to know more.  In the next post I will address what Biblical Faith really is 🙂

Sources:

Evidence for Jesus outside the Bible

Is there any evidence for Jesus outside the Bible? Yes, there is.

Check out this article by J. Warner Wallace, author of Cold Case Christianity. This information is very useful when putting Christ into His historical background. People talked about Him, about the people who followed Him, and His death and Resurrection .

Hostile Non-Biblical Pagan Accounts

  • Thallus (52AD)
  • Tacitus (56-120AD)
  • Mara Bar-Serapion (70AD)
  • Phlegon (80-140AD)
  • Pliny the Younger (61-113AD)
  • Suetonius (69-140AD)
  • Lucian of Samosata: (115-200 A.D.)
  • Celsus (175AD)

Hostile Non-Biblical Jewish Accounts

  • Josephus (37-101AD)
  • Jewish Talmud (400-700AD)
  • The Toledot Yeshu (1000AD)
holy spirit

The Limitations of Apologetics and Belief ‘That’ and Belief ‘In’

It is important to remember that Apologetics may serve as a valuable medium through which God can operate, but the mature apologist knows the issue is never the product of historical facts or evidence alone.

The apologist knows and prays as well that the Holy Spirit will move the will of the individual to come to the place to have belief that God exists and also trust in him for their salvation.

chab123's avatarTHINKAPOLOGETICS.COM

In their book Handbook of Christian Apologetics, Peter Kreeft and Ronald K. Tacelli give a summary of faith.

Kreeft and Tacelli say we must distinguish between the act of faith from the object of faith- believing from what is believed. The object of faith means all things believed. For the Christian, this means everything God has revealed in the Bible. This faith (the object, not the act) is expressed in propositions. Propositions are many, but the ultimate object of faith is one. The ultimate object of faith is not words, but God’s Words (singular), indeed-Himself.

Without a relationship with the living God, propositions are pointless, for their point is to point beyond themselves to God. But without propositions, we cannot know or tell others what God we believe in and what we believe about God. They mention a few aspects of faith here:

1. Emotional faith: is feeling assurance or…

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Muslim-Christian Dialogue

Ever since I began learning about Islam, Judaism, and more about Christianity, I have really enjoyed watching debates. There’s something thrilling – for me, anyway- about cheering for your faith, while at the same time, being ready to take everything that is being said against your faith.

I think that has been a challenge for me. I had never heard such things against the reliability of the New Testament or whether Jesus never really died. It never crossed my mind that the apostle Paul might have invented Christianity or that Jesus was only a man – but not God Himself. Did I even understand The Trinity?

The easiest thing for me to do would have been to shut my eyes, cover my ears, and pretend to live in la-la-land where Christianity is perfect. I could have ignored all those debates, but I figured that if Christianity was true, then it would have to stand on its own. That’s why I decided to study other claims, and give those claims a chance to stand on their own.

The information you learn from watching a single debate is unbelievable. You come to appreciate the people debating, and you also grow to respect them. The more debates you watch, the more you know the arguments for and against your faith. In Muslim-Christian apologetics it almost seems that the arguments don’t change with time. But generations do change. I did not know about these things, and I find them amazing. My mind works like that anyway. I need to read, and research and go deep – very deep – into many things at a time. That’s why I am passionate about learning.

I never did that with Christianity. I never thought it through. I just took it in faith, and I think that was awesome!

But now, to think that the more I learn, and the more I read, and the more debates I watch, the more confident I become that I have placed my faith in the right place… it just doesn’t get better than that. The object of my faith is not the evidence. But the evidence confirms my choice over and over and over again.

That being said, there were several LIVE debates last week, and the world came to an end in my household. I just wanted to share them with you. I seriously think that if you see them all, you might feel your brain exploding, but you will learn A LOT of information. That’s one key to apologetics I believe: Keep learning 🙂

My dad used to tell me, ‘Son, if you are gonna walk on thin ice, you might as well dance’. With this Wood family wisdom in mind, I say to my friend Shabir, ‘Let’s dance’.

David Wood

David Wood vs Shabir Ally

  1. Is Jesus the Son of God?
  2. Was  Jesus a prophet of Islam?
  3. Does Paul give us the truth about Jesus?
  4. Does Mohammad give us the truth about Jesus?
  5. Is the Quran a book of peace?
  6. Is the Bible a book of peace?

Christian Apologetics Resources

Some people have asked me to share with them what I have learned in regards to Christian apologetics, and Muslim-Christian apologetics. I am – in no way – an expert, but I am confident that I am learning from the best in the field.

I am providing this list in hopes that people who are interested in learning about it find it helpful. It is by no means an exhaustive list, but it is – I might say – a good start.

More and more resources will be given to you in the books or the websites. Most of the people in the field have a blog, a website and/or a podcast. You can also look for specific topics or people on YouTube, specially when it comes to debates, lectures, etc.

BOOKS TO READ

  • COLD CASE CHRISTIANITY by J.Warner Wallace
  • THE CASE FOR CHRIST by Lee Strobel
  • THE FORGOTTEN TRINITY by James R. White
  • THE CASE FOR THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS by Michael R. Licona and Gary Habermas
  • SEEKING ALLAH, FINDING JESUS by Nabeel Qureshi
  • WHAT EVERY CHRISTIAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THE QURAN by James R. White
  • AN ORAL-FORMULAIC STUDY OF THE QURAN by Andy Bannister
  • WHY DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? by Mary Jo Sharp
  • UNDERSTANDING SCRIPTURE: AN OVERVIEW OF THE BIBLE’S ORIGIN, RELIABILITY AND MEANING
  • REASONABLE FAITH: CHRISTIAN TRUTH AND APOLOGETICS by William Lane Craig
  • THE GENTLE ANSWER TO THE MUSLIM ACCUSATION OF BIBLICAL FALSIFICATION by Gordon D. Nickel
  • THE NEW EVIDENCE THAT DEMANDS A VEREDICT  by Josh McDowell
  • EX-MUSLIM by Naeem Fazal
  • TEXTUAL CRITICISM AND QURAN MANUSCRIPTS by Keith E. Small
  • HAGARISM: THE MAKING OF THE ISLAMIC WORLD by Patricia Crone and Michael Cook
  • JESUS AND THE JIHADIS by Craig A. Evans and Jeremiah J. Johnston
  • JESUS, JIHAD AND PEACE by Michael Youssef
  • STEALING FROM GOD by Frank Turek

WEBSITES/PODCASTS

PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO 

  • Andy Bannister
  • Gary Habermas
  • James White
  • Michael Brown
  • Mike Licona
  • J.Warner Wallace
  • Lee Strobel
  • David Wood
  • Nabeel Qureshi
  • Daniel Wallace

I know this list comes short. I would appreciate if people can help to make it grow longer 🙂

Judah – Part 4

So, I chose Christ. Now what?

How do I know that the Holy Spirit is actually indwelling me? Eight years ago – when I first believed – I didn’t feel anything. And I certainly do not feel anything right now. How can I be sure The Spirit of God is in ME?

I wish I had the time to go in full detail about what I’ve been reading lately. Two things have struck me the most.

First, in order to be saved, you must believe in the Lord Jesus. Even a mustard-seed-size faith can take you a long way. Second, all you have to do is A.S.K. Ask, and it will be given. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened. God is actually waiting for you to ask Him for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

That’s it.

You do not have to put yourself together to come to God. You do not have to clean up your mess in order for God to take you in. We have the idea that we have to get ourselves all cleaned up. But actually, we can ask our Father in Heaven to do it.

We can be bold enough to tell God, “YOU CLEAN ME”

When Faith intertwines life

I was reading the other day that one of the major evidences of the Holy Spirit working in your life is the pure fact that you actually feel broken about your own sin.

Worldly sorrow brings death. You can cry because things do not go the way you wanted them to go. That’s disappointment. But thorough the eyes of Scripture, that kind of sorrow only brings death to your life. There is, however, a kind of sorrow that is godly. Godly sorrow brings repentance, and that repentance brings salvation.

Repentance brings blessing. The issue here is not mourning over human circumstances. The real issue is mourning over your own sin. This brings to my mind the Sermon of the Mount, in which Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven”.

This means that when you are confronted with the reality of your own sin, you know that you are spiritually bankrupt. You look at your life and find nothing of value, nothing of worth, nothing to commend yourself to God. None of the things you do will give you the righteousness that God demands from you.

You can only beg for salvation.

‘Why are you crying!? I didn’t do anything to you’, I said.

My daughter came out from the corner where she was hiding. She told me, ‘I am crying because you scared me, Mommy’

You might think I have all the time in the world to write long posts. I do have time, but I also have a family. Most of you know my name, but many of you have never seen my face. I am a real person, with real problems. Every morning I argue with my two year-old because he refuses to go to the bathroom. I literally have to ask him for more than twenty minutes to go and pee, but he never goes.

I am one of those “weird” moms who believes in the power of spanking. Words are sweet and nice, but sometimes, my children really need a spat on their bottoms. I don’t physically abuse my children. We have been consistent on how the spanking is to be administered. We explain what rule was broken, and we spank. The child owns his action, and then apologizes.  We forgive the child, we pray with the child, and we let go. Clean slate.

All the time? What a drag… No, not all the time. But in the years we have been parenting, we have done it vey consistently. But that morning, I didn’t even spank my son for his willful – in my face – disobedience. You might think he is only two years old, but he knows right from wrong. I know he knows. I can see it in his behavior and in his choices. The other day, he was able to control himself and did not hit the neighbor’s little girl. Sometimes, he even thinks he is smarter than me.  He pretends to hide in order to kick his sister – as if I don’t have a clue of what’s going on.

So that morning, I didn’t even spank him. I just yelled at him. After an hour of trying to be the most patient mother in the world, I yelled. I know exactly why I scared my daughter. I know that I am able to focus all the energy from my most inner places, and get it out through my mouth. I knew why I had scared her.

I knew I had done something wrong, but after all, we were in a hurry. My son always has to fight this battle with me exactly when it is time for us to get his sister to school. I apologized, and I cried, but I had to keep it together. We were late for school. We got in the car, and on the way to school, I kept on holding back my tears. Even my driver asked me if everything was okay. I just looked at him and then I looked at my son. My driver knew what that meant. He knows my son.

When we came back from school, my son was watching some YouTube videos. It seems that watching shows and playing with my cellphone is all my children have been doing for the last three months. I had to write my journey down.

I wept on my bed for twenty minutes. My son came and gave me a hug. He told me not to cry, and he also asked me to put on some trains going fast for him on the computer. My last post was by far the longest one. This post will top it off. Can you picture my over-thinking brain during those weeping twenty long minutes?

Those twenty minutes, in short, summarize my year-long journey through Judaism, Islam and Christianity.

Welcome to my brain

As I laid down on my bed, I could only hear a condemning voice telling me I was a hypocrite. Here I was trying to proclaim a Good God, but that God was not even able to help me control myself. I was a hypocrite for telling my children they could have self-control, but all I did was yelling at them. I wasn’t leading them by example. I was the worst mother because I had probably marked my daughter’s life forever. She was afraid of me. A wrong choice of mine had had a bad effect on her.

I knew I had sinned against God, but also against my daughter. Specially against my first born. The day she was born, I promised her that I would teach her how to love God and how to honor God. I am her only God-figure when her dad is not around. Is this the image of God I want her to grow up with? A God who says He is patient and loving as long as you do what He wants you to do? I felt ashamed of my choices.

I couldn’t even say any words. I was weeping. Is this what praying in the Spirit meant? Is this what The New Testament means when it says the Spirit of God can pray for you when you have no idea what to pray for?  Was the Holy Spirit interceding for me? I was groaning ἀλάλητος words. Words that cannot be expressed.

But after those words somehow made it to Heaven, I was able to purposely say, “God, save me. I cannot save myself. YOU save ME”. 

And then God brought to my mind all the knowledge I have recollected for the last months. I had made my daughter cry. I had broken many commands. I remembered the story of that Gentile who wanted to become Jewish. A sage taught him all the Torah under two minutes. The sage said, “Don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you. The rest is commentary, now go and study”. That sounded familiar.

I was not kind. I was not gentle. I was not patient. I was not self-controlled. I was not compassionate towards her. I am focusing on my daughter. But what about my son? I have been so inconsiderate towards him lately. Granted, he can go to the bathroom, and he can wash his hands on his own. But lately, I have even been refusing to wash his hands.

I have argued with him – for I don’t know how long – about the fact that he has to wash his hands on his own. And you know what he has been telling me lately? He looks at my face, points his finger at me, and tells me, “YOU CLEAN ME”.

Check mate, indeed, Charley Harary. I get the significance of the Jewish Yom Kippur. On that Day of Atonement, God cleans His people from all their sins. GOD cleans YOU.

So what about all the other sins in my life? These are only against my daughter and my son. What about sins committed against God? Unbelief. Lack of interest on reading His Word. Believing in Him, but not believing HIM. And what about my husband? Disrespect overshadows all the other sins I have committed against him. I take him for granted, and I am not thankful for the things he does for us as a family. He called me out on those issues this evening. And he is right.

What about my parents? My neighbors? My friends?

You know, my daughter’s latest hobby is applying my nail polish. She thinks I look beautiful.  My fingers, tough, are always coated with it. She applies my lipstick, too. I look like a clown – but she thinks I look beautiful. Are you really telling me that God will not accept my prayer because I am wearing nail polish? Are you seriously implying that God will not listen because I am wearing make up?

‘Hold on to your weeping’, God says. ‘Keep yourself together, and go do your wudu, first. Take off your nail polish. Wash your face. It is a sin if you offer prayer like that. I cannot receive your prayer when you are a mess. Your salah is not going to count. And please learn to talk to me in Arabic when you address me five times a day. But don’t feel bad, Woman, most native Arab-speakers are struggling to learn Quran Arabic. It is not like you are in any disadvantage to them whatsoever. Keep up the good work, Sweetheart,  and strive hard‘.

I honor my Muslims. I honor all the Muslims that I don’t know yet. These are not mocking words. These are pure, honest thoughts that were running through my mind, while countless tears were running through my face. I respect your beliefs, my Muslims, but I made my precious daughter cry. If you would have seen her sweet little face – all scared.

How many good deeds will pay for this wrong? How many days of fasting are enough? How many meals should I give the poor for such a thing like this? Ten, twenty, thirty… Multiply that for every single sin I have ever committed in my life. I chose an abortion at age eighteen. I killed a baby. I chose to have sex with random people from a very young age. And those are only sins that people can see. What about my lust, my jealousy, my anger, my pride, my selfishness…

Well… God forgives. He just forgives. 

God is the root of all the things that we consider good. Look at some of the names of Allah. As-Sabur (The Patient One), Al-‘Afuww (The Forgiver), Al-Hakim (The Perfectly Wise), Al-`Adl (The Just), Al-Ghaffar (The Forgiving), Ar-Rahim (The All-Merciful), Ar-Rahim (The All-Compassionate), Al-`Adl (The Just).

These are all terms that involve LOVE. If God is the Greatest God, He has to be the most patient. He has to be most loving, He has to be the most merciful, He has to be the more just of all. He has to be the fairest of all Judges. And the FAIREST of Judges always punishes sin. God cannot sweep sin under the carpet, and forgive JUST like that.

Mercy, by definition, is only exercised by the One who has the power to punish. You deserve to be punished by God, but if He is the MOST MERCIFUL, He can also forgive you. Forgiveness does not mean the absence of consequences. Sin has to be dealt with.

I know my sin has to be dealt with.

Dealing with sin

It is amazing to me how similar we all seem to be – Jews, Muslims and Christians – and at the same time we are so different. I remember one day I was having breakfast with my Muslims when Adam and Eve showed up at the conversation. My Muslim said they covered themselves with leafs. ‘Yes’, I said, ‘And God covered them with skin’.

Leaves. Skin. Leaves. Skin

LEAVES!

SKIN!

The Quran narrative of The Fall portrays Adam and Eve covering themselves with leaves after realizing they were naked. The Torah narrates the same incident. Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves because they felt ashamed. Now they knew what sin was. The Torah teaches that God walked in the Garden of Eden with His children (Genesis 3:8). Adam and Eve had an intimate relationship with their Creator. But after they ate from the fruit, instead of running towards their Father, they wanted to hide.

Why?

Think about it. Nobody can see the face of God and live (Exodus 33:20). But Adam and Eve could. I dare say that it was because they were sinless. They were holy as God demands us to be holy (Leviticus 11:44). Even The New Testament (1 Peter 1:16) demands holiness based on The Torah.

Stay with me.

Adam and Eve had been created in God’s own image. That, by the way, only means that human beings have the potential to be creative, spiritual, intelligent, communicative, relational, moral, full of purposeful capacities… a little taste of what God is.

But once Adam and Eve exercised their free will – by choosing to disobey God – everything changed. God did not JUST forgive them. There were consequences. And somebody paid the price. Genesis 3:21 says that God made garments for them out of skin. This is what Quran probably means by garments. The purpose of this adornment was to cover their shame. Their sin – all together with their guilt – got transferred to an animal.

They needed to be covered. They had sinned against their Creator. In His infinite LOVE, God was absolutely MERCIFUL and He forgave them. In His infinite wisdom, God was also JUST, and the wrath of God was transferred from Adam and Eve to an animal who died in their place. Symbolically, the blood of that animal covered their shame – their sin.

Oh, Karla, again with the blood of Jesus…

This is not my own crazy Christian theology. This is an issue that rests at the very core of Judaism and Islam. As I see it, it is either my blood or the goat’s blood. So I vote for letting the goat die. Seriously.

You see, I was born a Mexican. I was born far away from the Middle East where all these things had been cooking for thousands of years. This Isaac vs Ishmael battle is really none of my business. I am a Gentile. But it so happens that I am going gaga over the God of Israel. And it seems that He loves me, too. So what do I need to do to get this relationship going?

Aqeeqah

The sacrifice and spilling of blood of an animal is an issue that was very close to the heart of Mohammad. And Muslims have to obey their prophet. This is Sunnah mu’akkadah – a confirmed Sunnah. If you have the means to do it, you should not ignore it.

Aqeeqah involves sacrificing a goat or lamb on behalf of a new-born child. It means giving thanks to Allah for His gift. This almost sounds like the consecration of the first-born. Every single first-born male belongs to YHWH. Circumcision is also a command from God to Abraham. Muslims practice it, too.

The Aqeeqa lamb has to have certain specifications, you know. It cannot be any lamb you find on the road. It has to be one year old, without any defects, its legs must not be broken- although it doesn’t really have to be that perfect. That goes against Leviticus 22 and the rules for acceptable sacrifices to be offered to God. But I hope you are able to see two things.

First, Mohammad hung out with the Jews. Big time. He was influenced by them. Second, if this kind of ritual made it into The Sunnah of Islam, I put my hands on fire that Mohammad knew that SACRIFICE WAS IMPORTANT. According to Mohammad, every boy is in pledge for his Aqeeqa, and you have to shave his head.

Mohammad was surrounded by people who understood the meaning of atonement by the shedding of blood. Mohammad understood it, too. If he did not, then why do Muslims recite what they recite over the sacrifice? Imagine a little boy called Ibrahim.

Oh Allah! This is Ibrahim’s aqeeqah.  The aqeeqa’s blood instead of Ibrahim’s blood. The aqeeqa’s bone instead of Ibrahim’s bone. The aqeeqa’s skin instead of Ibrahims’ skin. Its hair instead of his hair. Oh, Allah! I make this an offering on Ibrahim’s behalf. I turn my attention exclusively towards He who created the skies, and the earth. l am not amongst the polytheists. Oh Allah! From You, and toward You. In the name of Allah. Allah is great.

At the core of Islamic belief, you have atonement by sacrifice. At the center of the Sunnah of Mohammad, Ibrahim’s father – acting as priest – is reconciling little Ibrahim’s with Allah. The shedding of the blood of that lamb is the means to do that.

This does not go against Quran 22:37, by the way. Of course the meat doesn’t reach Allah. Of course Allah does not need that blood. Instead, it is the action of TRUSTING that the blood of that sacrifice can COVER little Ibrahim’s sin, and make him right with God. Just like it was with Adam and Eve from the very beginning.

Sacrifice has always been God’s idea

Hold on to your butts, because I am just getting started.

My Jewish Friend 

I can only recall the first time I told a Jew that I really liked the Old Testament. He said it was not OLD, and he looked so upset. That was so amateur of me. I wish he could read this. I wish I could tell him I have studied the Torah in depth. And I wish I could tell him that even though I will never master Hebrew – or be Jewish – I stand for Israel.

I will always stand for Israel.

I am not an ethnic Jew, and I will never be. Even if I dared telling him that I have circumcised my heart, that stuff wouldn’t fly with him. For him, the New Testament is rubbish. Jesus is not the Messiah, and for all I know, he doesn’t care about my Muslim-Christian dilemma. He has the promises of God, you know. He is, after all, Jewish. Of course I know that this attitude is not one of arrogance, but of one who still trusts in the promises of God given to Israel.

I don’t really know why all these hateful things are happening in the world. But I read the Book of Hosea, and I know that God is not done with Israel. No, sir. He loves them dearly. Israel might have been a whore in abandoning YHWH, but He is her rightful husband.  So please, back off.

I will betroth you to me forever;
I will betroth you to Me with righteousness and justice,
with loving-kindness and with mercy.

I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness,
and you shall know the LORD

– Hosea 2:19-20

I have never seen an animal being slaughtered. My friend would tell me, that when bringing an offering to the Temple, the owner of the animal had to be present. He had to put his hands on the lamb’s head, and he had to rest his weight on it. In one sense, he connected with the animal – so it was like an extension of himself. To actually see that little lamb killed right in front of you was an unsettling thing. This little fluffy lamb might have been your pet, but now it was dead meat.

During the atonement, Life and Death were staring you in the face. God dwelled symbolically between the wings of the cherubim above the cover of the Ark of the Covenant. Inside the Ark were the tablets with the Law that God had given Moses. The Ark’s cover was called Atonement Cover or Mercy Seat. The blood of this little fluffy lamb had to be sprinkled on this cover.

The Ark was a picture of judgement. When God saw that atonement had been made, forgiveness could be given. If you wanted the punishment you really deserved, then you had to die. But if you wanted forgiveness, then you had to sacrifice this little lamb.

This could have been me. This animal is just like me – with a heart, hair, gall bladder. What is the difference – a soul?

– 

It was a whole process, but at the end, the remaining meat was taken and could be eaten by the owner.

I am all ears. My Jewish friend is describing Aqeeqa to me. Muslims also eat the meat and share it with others.

yom kippur

I am sure my Jewish friend would tell me that Ibrahim’s Aqeeqa is a sweet symbolism, but it doesn’t really count as a real atonement. It will never cover little Ibrahim’s shame because sacrifices are not longer required under God’s Law. The Temple was destroyed around 70 A.D. (an event actually predicted by Jesus), so there is simply no place – acceptable to God – to offer the sacrifices anymore.

Sacrifices had to be offered every day – all day long. That was the job of the priests. Even in Jesus’ time, sacrifices were still going on. Jesus had nothing against these sacrifices. The problem – in Jesus’ judgement – was that the operation of the Temple had become robbery under the temple authorities. The sanctity of the Temple and its purpose had been lost. The problem were not the sacrifices themselves—they had been set up and ordained by God—the problem was with those who superintended the temple.

But now, my Jewish friend tells me that God does not care for blood sacrifices anymore.

After all, one of the offerings brought by a sinner was the korban minchah, which was made up of flour. We also find in the Torah that both incense and monetary donations served to atone for the people. It should be noted that nowhere in the Torah is it stated that atonement can be found only through sacrifice, never mind blood sacrifice.

– Chabad.org

The Jewish sages say that world stands on three pillars:

1. The Torah. One who reaches into the laws of sacrifices is considered as if he has actually offered a sacrifice. By studying the laws and their meanings, we achieve the atonement and closeness to God that a sacrifice accomplishes. This sounds like Islam – where God will judge you on the base of your intentions.

I find it appalling though, that this is coming from the Talmud – which is a commentary of the Oral Law (The Mishnah). Tradition usually seems to take precedence over the Scriptures for faith and practice. The Oral Law stands as high as the Written law and here is why. Jewish people relied on their Oral Tradition, so that the Ishmaelites should not fabricate it as they had done with the Written Torah, and say they were Israel.

The Ishmaelites probably meant the Christians. The Church had adopted the Hebrew Scriptures and they no longer were a possession of the Jews. Therefore, the Oral Law, safeguarded the distinctiveness of the Jewish people living in a Christian environment. The problem with the word Ishmaelites is that by the 7th Century Islam tried to unite them. The Jews refused, so Mohammad split from the Jewish Scriptures. The Corruption Conspiracy began.

2. Good works of service. Jewish people had replaced the sacrificial “service of God” with prayer – the service of the heart articulated in words. As such, the three daily prayers are in place of the daily “services” and sacrifices that were performed in the Temple. On Shabbat, they add the Musaf prayer, since an additional sacrifice was offered in the Temple every Shabbat. This also sounds Islamic. God lets you make up for the days you don’t fast, or for the times you don’t pray. You can make up for those by feeding the poor.

Never mind that you broke God’s commands, you know. But if I remember correctly, you disobeyed God and you died. It happened to Aaron’s sons when they offered sacrifices to the Lord in the way they were not supposed to. Interesting it is that now – for some strange reason – Jewish people are doing a very similar thing.

3. Charity. Giving charity – giving of oneself – is also considered to be a method of finding atonement. One who gives his hard-earned money to charity is, in a sense, truly giving of himself—sacrificing himself for the greater good. This might be the ultimate form of sacrifice, as he is really giving something of himself—money that could have been spent for his personal benefit and gain. Also Islamic.

So what? I pray, I give money, I do good works. Is that it? Is that all I have to do to please God? That sounds like a cheap god. I think that actually makes God small. They are making God adapt to them. Either God is not that HOLY, or God is a liar who made sin to be a big deal when in reality sin is not that important.

COROLARY

The Israelites tried to be so different from The Ishmaelites, but in their efforts, they ended up twisting everything they were supposed to be. Israel was supposed to be a blessing for ALL the nations. That is why – in my understanding of the Torah- God chose Israel. But now, brothers are tearing God apart – as if God belong to someone. People actually want a relationship with your God, you, guys.

Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac. No. Abraham was about to sacrifice Ishmael. No. Isaac is the son of a promise. No. Ishmael is the rightful first born. No. Ishmael was the son of an Egyptian maid. No. The Jews corrupted the Hebrew Bible because it does not agree with Quran. Yes. Actually, the Christians also corrupted the Injil because Jesus never died. Yes. Basically – the Jews and the Christians and every other non-Muslim – is going to hell.

Really? Is this God? When is this going to stop?

A gentile’s heart

I don’t care for rewards. Seriously. The idea of having them for my good behavior is really nice. But I am a mother of two young children. I know what being a parent is. I might not be the best, but I am trying my best.

When I ask my children to do a chore and offer them a cookie as a reward, the inevitable happens. They give a crap about the chore, and they only focus on the reward. We have had endless arguments about the cookie that they were promised, and they don’t even want to fold the towels they were requested to fold. It was my mistake for offering them the reward in the first place.

So I changed my strategy. Obedience is expected. Always. I am good mom. My husband is a good dad. We are reasonable people. What we are asking of them is not impossible to achieve, you know. So when I ask them to fold the towels, I expect them to fold the towels. I really want to give them a cookie, but I have stopped mentioning the cookie.

Sometimes they obey, and they do get the cookie. Other times, they obey, but I force myself to stop giving them the cookie. I stop myself because I want to teach them a valuable lesson.

You obey God because you know God. Obedience should be motivated by how much you trust God and how much you love God. You don’t follow God because God promises you Heaven. You follow God, and obey God because He is worthy of all praise. You follow God because He is faithful to you even though time and again you are unfaithful to Him. Obedience comes by faith. You have to trust that God knows what He is doing. Wherever He leads, you say yes. And you remain humble.

If my children get the cookie, they are happy. But I want them to learn to be happy even if they don’t get it. I want them to learn contentment. I want them to realize that if the cookie comes, they should be joyful. But at the same time, I want them to be aware of the fact that if they get a cookie every time they obey, they might be tempted to believe that their own effort – their own work – was what got them the cookie in the first place. And that is not true.

This is how my husband and I parent. Call us crazy. At times, we see wonderful things God is doing in the heart of our children. Other times, I just want to jump out of the window and run towards the woods. Sometimes I just need a beer. And if this is too much for the Muslims, I am sorry. I guess I’ll go with the Jews who will probably say l’chaim  – holding a cup of red wine in their hands.

Summary

This journey has been totally awesome. I am a weird human being because I honestly enjoyed learning all the things I have learned so far. I am not finished yet. I will continue to learn, but I need a break. I have come to a point where I know enough. And knowing enough demanded a decision to be made.

I am only a human being. I cannot even pretend I am going to learn Quran Arabic, and Hebrew, and Greek, and then I am going to study all these original texts to actually know what they say. If there is a person who is able to do that, he is probably an atheist. The reason I say that is because the world of religion is a mess. A big fat mess. Everybody holds on to their own traditions based on their own interpretation of the texts.

The Jews not only have the Written Torah, the Oral Torah, the Midrash, and The Talmud.  To top it off they also have Rabbinic Law. Who do you think I am – an alien? I will never be able to read all that assuming I have the time. And the human interpretation of these sages can lead to so much mysticism that some Jews even find loopholes for reincarnation.

[Faint]

When I read about all the Jewish traditions I can’t stop thinking about Jesus’ condemning words towards them. Messiah or not, crucified or not, maybe Jesus had a point. Maybe Jesus knew what He was talking about. These Jewish leaders had added rule upon rule, rule upon rule, in order to stop people from breaking the actual rule. And by doing this, the Jewish leaders began elevating these human rules to the same level of the actual rules given by God.

The Muslims have Quran. They also have Tawheed. They have the Sunnah and Hadith. But it is also a mess. You see, Muslims say Islam is one – that Islam is unified – but the House of Islam is facing a crisis. Muslims also want to believe that the Quran has never been changed from eternity past, but that is simply not true. Muslims have to go back and study their own history, and their own traditions.

Muslims are killing each other over what true Islam is. You have the Sunni vs Shia disputes. Then you have the Ahmadiyyas who believe that the long-awaited Messiah already came. Some Muslims are leaving Islam left and right to become atheists.  And the truth is that Muslims are blind to these issues within their own faith. Or they choose to ignore it.

I understand them wholeheartedly. It is difficult to question your own faith, especially if you have never done that before. DUH. But I think everybody should go back and objectively – as much as they can – analyze the reason why they believe what they believed in the first place. Why are you a Muslim? Why are you a Christian? Why are you a Jew? Is it because you were born in those families? Is it because your parents told you it was THE truth? Is it because your traditions are comfortable? Is it because only Christians go to Heaven? Is it because only Muslims go to heaven?

What is the evidence for your faith?

Why do you believe what you believe?

I will tell you why I am choosing Jesus.

CONCLUSION

I am not going to pretend Christianity has no tradition. And I don’t agree with the tradition of the Church. That’s why I am not Roman Catholic. I was Catholic because I was born into a Catholic family. But my family – in all honesty – still lives as if God didn’t exist. Nobody asked me if I wanted to belong to the Catholic Church. You see, in the eyes of the Catholic Church, I am an apostate. I have abandoned the True Faith.

And I am a proud apostate. Send me to hell right now if you wish. I don’t agree with many traditions of the Church. I read the New Testament, and I don’t see why I had to be baptized as a baby. Jesus was baptized when He was thirty!  Why should I pray five Holy Marys and ten Lord’s Prayers for God to forgive me? Is God that cheap? Can I really trick Him that way? My rosary resembles – for that matter – the Islamic prayer beads.

For all I know, I should be worshipping Tlaloc, Huitzilopochtli, Chalchiuhtlicue, Chicomecoatl, Coyolxauhqui and who else not. I should be offering the heart of virgins as sacrifices to appease the gods of my people. That’s the history of my country. Those are my roots. These should be my gods. But I don’t want those gods. I really don’t.

So I am not going to pretend that the Council of Nicea is a conspiracy theory, or that the Reformation never happened. The Crusades will be forever a mole for my faith because it was a war fueled by greed – but fought in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ. And the history of The Church is ugly. And I am studying it. And the traditions are ugly. And the bishops and the popes do nasty things. I know that.

I am rejecting The Church – as an institution. I am rejecting Christianity – as a religion. Do you see now why I don’t like calling myself a Christian?

I am rejecting all tradition

I will only uphold Jesus’ name as high as He would allow me.

I cannot be led by traditions. I cannot trust anybody. I cannot trust Jewish Tradition or Islamic tradition or Christian tradition. I can only trust what I am able to see. I am a doubting Thomas. Show me what you’ve got. Show me the evidence you have. My faith has to be based on evidence that my God-given brain enables me to approve as valid.

And it is right there. Virtually, all New Testament scholars – including the atheists – agree that Jesus died by crucifixion. You have historical documents from Tacitus, Pliny, and Josephus – to name a few. You have thousands of manuscripts and all of them convey the same idea. The earliest “Christians” believed this Jesus to be God. They were martyred and persecuted for not submitting to the Greek gods or to Caesar.

The earliest Creeds were given to the apostle Paul by the actual people who saw these events happening. Paul only repeated these creeds, but he did not make them up. Sure, Paul also saw Jesus, but plenty of other people saw these things, too. My faith does not rest on the Bible. My faith rests on a guy predicting his own death. And if a guy is able to predict His own death, and then resurrect from the dead, I am with that guy!!

There’s an ocean of evidence for all these claims – both inside and outside the biblical records. I will focus on that once I come back to writing.

Paul did not make up “The Way”. Jesus did when He resurrected. 

Read the whole New Testament. Now try to live it to the core. Why would a reasonable person would do such a stupid thing? Why would you make up a story in which you had nothing to benefit from? It is only humanly dumb to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others. It goes against all the rules of my own selfishness.

I am accountable for the things I know. And come judgment day, I know enough. Sure, I will continue to study, and I will continue to learn, but I am ready to face my Creator. I won’t rely on the sages, or the scholars or the Imams or the Shieks. I won’t rely on the priests or the pastors or the bishops or the Pope. I am not gonna follow what they teach.

I follow what I see. And I see SACRIFICE in Judaism, in Christianity and in Islam. And I know God never changes.

I, YHWH, do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you.

– Malachi 3:6-7

Traditions have made humans believe that they can change the heart of God. We do not have the Temple therefore God does not need a sacrifice anymore. As if God were saying, “Oh, goodness, the Temple was destroyed. I didn’t see this coming. I am so glad my people are so smart to find loopholes to make sacrifices not necessary anymore. After all, what do I know? I am so fortunate they can work things out on their own”.

Nope. I am not buying tradition.

If Jesus did not come to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it, why is it such a horrendous idea that Jesus might have actually been the Aqeeqa of the whole world? Why is it such a horrible thought that maybe God decided it was time to stop our efforts of trying to do everything our own way? Why would it be a sin to believe that God can love HIS children so much – the people He created – that He Himself can be the Aqeeqa?

Do you reject that because you are a Jew? Remain a Jew, but take the Aqeeqa. Are you a Muslim? Remain operating within your own Islamic upbringing, but receive the Aqeeqa of God. But I know that might be just wishful thinking. You know why I think it is so difficult for people to do that?

First, CULTURE. Depending on your culture, if you receive Jesus as your Aqeeqa things can get pretty rough. In Saudi Arabia, they will give you three days to reject it, and if you don’t, then they might kill you. If you are lucky to live outside Saudi Arabia, at least you won’t be killed, but your family might disown you. In Jerusalem, your family will take you to the Rabbis who will make you read the Torah until you admit that Yeshua is not the Messiah. And if you don’t, they will disown you, too. You become a nobody. Your family might shun you until the day they died. Culture wins – most of the time

Second, PRIDE. I think this is at the heart of every single temptation. This is how Satan operates. You really believe you can be good enough to earn you own way to God. You say you trust God, but then, why do you try so hard? Why do you worry so much about memorizing the Torah or the Quran to recite it. Why would reciting the whole Quran in Arabic will give you extra good deeds? And the funny thing is, PRIDE was even at the heart of the Temple.

You see, people will take the little lamb to the Temple, put the hands on their head, and have it killed by the priest. But still, the offerer of the sacrifice always had the CHOICE. The offerer could believe God when God said the blood would cover his sin OR the offerer could believe that the blood would never be enough. So the offerer just kept on trying harder, but never really trusted the sacrifice.

I choose to trust the sacrifice. I choose to believe that God never changes, and that SACRIFICE will always be the ONLY way that God has made available for man to make peace with Him. You can tell me sacrifices were not the only way, and that it was only for unintentional sins. Sure, there were many offerings and many holy days.

But the most important day for Israel – as a nation – was the Day of Atonement. Yom Kippur is still the most important day. On Yom Kippur, the priest would make atonement for himself, his own household and the whole nation of Israel. And the two goats were presented to YHWH. One goat was scapegoat that made it into the wilderness. The other goat was sacrificed as a sin offering. That goat paid for ALL the sins. The Hebrew כֹּל means all –  the whole.

Why, my Jewish people, do you keep translating this word as only UNINTENTIONAL? Stop putting a yoke on the Gentiles that you yourselves are not able to carry!

I fear God. I love God. I trust God.

I trust that Yom Kippur means so much more than only unintentional sins. Yom Kippur is all about coming clean. I am choosing to believe that Jesus is my Aqeeqa. Based in the evidence I have gathered this year, I am choosing to believe that God is the Daddy who Mr. Harari talks about.

I looked at my son – full of dirt – and something hit me. I am his Father. And part of being a parent is knowing what you child wants – and what he can and cannot do about it. It is understanding them in a way that few others can.

My son was saying, ‘You know I can’t stop playing in the dirt. I really try, but I’m too little to do it all by myself. But since you are my dad, you know that deep down, I really want to come with you. And if you love me, you are not gonna just stick to your rules and walk away. You are gonna do everything in your power to help me do what I know deep down is right. You clean me, Daddy, so that we can go together’.

– Coming Clean

This year in India, I have gathered enough evidence and enough faith – even if it’s tiny – to look up to heaven and say, “GOD, YOU CLEAN ME”

I hope my twenty minutes of weeping shared light into some people’s lives 🙂

But if serving YHWH seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve YHWH.

Judah – Part 3

Extremely long post

I think I have shared so many things lately, that I got sidetracked about Judah. But as I write, I am only trying to connect the dots. In one of my previous posts, I talked about my Muslim friend doing Istikhara on my behalf. I also mentioned the fact that in my own prayer time, God had guided me to the same account in both my Bible and my Quran.  I think you deserve to know what happened.

Not only that, I have to remain truthful to my word. In my very first post, I said that one of my goals was to explain what it meant to be a born-again person. One’s faith has to be palpable on an every-day basis, otherwise, our faith might as well be dead. If I cannot walk my faith in a practical, tangible way – as a woman, mother and wife – then what exactly am I striving for? This is a biblical truth found in James 2:18. You cannot separate your faith (belief) from the way you act (deed).

Discipleship in Christ is about responding to the Holy Spirit’s prompting to examine your thoughts, words and actions and compare them with the Word of God. We have to walk the talk. Salvation is a gift from God. It is free. But that is only the beginning of the Christian life. Discipleship is looking at the Bible as a mirror, and asking yourself how much you actually resemble your Savior. Christ-likeness is the goal of the Christian life. It almost sounds impossible, but that is the standard. We will never look like Him, we are broken. Our hope is that one day we will.

Decisions, decisions

I cannot denny that I feel flattered when very close friends of mine tell me my faith is growing. Apparently they see things I see not. I personally have not felt strong in the Lord Jesus Christ for the past 9 months of my life. But I’ll tell you what, I have held on to Him for dear life. I have cried for Him, with Him and because of Him. I have cried myself to sleep not knowing who God really is. Who misled me into believing Jesus as Savior?

When I have looked into Muslim apologetics, I have found that Jesus never died. The Swoon Theory has Jesus passing out on the cross, but He did not die. He recovered later. The Legend Theory claims the crucifixion never happened. The Natural Death Theory argues Jesus died a natural death many years after. The substitution theory makes God a deceiver. God Himself made someone look like Jesus who was then crucified in the place of Christ.

God’s deception started right at the cross. But why would a great, loving God do that? Didn’t God know that a great movement called Christianity would emerge from all this? Why didn’t God stop it right on its tracks?

Was my God a deceiver like some Christian apologists claim Allah is? Or did Allah made someone else appear like Jesus in order to test us? After all, we are put in this life to be tested according to Islamic view.

I have had many answers to my prayers, but those answers came when I would read my Bible. My Muslims told me I was biased. They said I had to let go of Christ if I really wanted Allah to show me the right path. Without knowing, they were almost suggesting me to commit “Christian shirk”. The worst of the worst – rejecting the Holy Spirit. Their words came from a good place and a good heart. They love me. I know they love me.

I also know they are Muslims, but maybe I was biased. So I began asking God for answers while reading only my Quran. By no means I am an expert. I have only read sixteen juz-un out of thirty (53% of Quran content). I am sure I will still learn from the remaining fourteen parts. But believe me, after nine months of reading and thinking about it,  I know what Islam teaches.

Islam can get very complicated, but it is fairly simple. You submit to God. Then you follow the beautiful example of the life of Mohammad. Lā ʾilāha ʾillā-llāh, Muḥammadur rasūlu-llāh. I even know how to pronounce that. I have actually uttered those words after my Muslimah showed me how. You pray five times a day. You fast during Ramadan. You give charity. You try to go to Makkah. You do good deeds. And by all means, you stop entertaining the pure thought of Jesus (PBUH) dying on the cross for your sins.

You do that, and you will be okay. You hope you will go to Heaven. In šāʾ Allāh. But you don’t really know.

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound, as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?

– C.S. Lewis

So what? What was I supposed to do with all this knowledge in my head? I knew Christianity and I knew Islam. I was accountable to God for what I knew now. I was tired – my brain was tired, my soul was tired. I had asked God for wisdom, for discernment, but I was going one way, and then the other. I literally felt tossed by the waves of my own unbelief. And I almost gave up on Jesus.

God has showed me a great deal of things lately. The greatest, I believe, is that He loves me enough to give me free will. After Allah showed my Muslimah that I was heedlessly running towards Jesus, we talked about it. Through her Muslim eyes, that meant that I was not really looking for the truth. I was only looking for ways to justify Jesus as Savior. She never said this, of course, but I know enough Quran to understand that this heedlessness would land me in hell fire. Forever.

QURAN AND BIBLE – SIDE BY SIDE

Doesn’t Allah love me?, I thought. I know He does – Muslim or not – so I asked God one last chance. He had shown me many things before, but I pleaded with Him. I said that Moses got away with all his excuses for not wanting to go to Egypt. I reminded God – as if He needs my reminders – that Gideon was a mess asking for many signs. God showed him those signs, but then Gideon would question God again.

I knew that I had to make up my mind once and for all. What else was I looking for? I knew enough Islam. I knew enough Christianity. After a year of living in India, and all my knowledge, I had to make a choice. I was tired of learning for the sake of learning.

God, Allah, Jesus… whoever you are, I am up for grabs. Whoever God you are, you have to tell me right now. Show yourself to me. Answer me. You know I love you. Jesus, if you are God, show me. God, if Mohammad is your messenger, show me. I am afraid.  If you tell me Islam is the right path, I will give you my Shahada right now. I will start wearing my hijab right away, and I will wear it until the day I die. Jesus, if you are who the Bible says you are, I promise you, I will proclaim your glory and your praises to the top of my lungs until the day I die.

I would say it was the most sincere prayer I have prayed in the fear of God.  I had no idea what to expect, but I knew I had to keep my word either way. And I knew these two books were put to the test. Quran and Bible were together, and both would show me the path to take.

This might be a hard pill to swallow for many, but I believe God prompted me to open my Bible in page 83, and read the second paragraph. This was a very specific command. It is not my intent for you to think that somehow I am special becasue God led me this way. I do believe, though, that God can lead anybody in many ways. God speaks to our hearts. He speaks through His Word, through His people, and through our circumstances.

Then OUR father said, ‘Go back and buy a little more food.’ But we said, ‘We cannot go down. Only if OUR youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man’s face unless OUR youngest brother is with us.’

– Genesis 44:26-26

These two paragraphs meant literally my life for me. This is Judah speaking. This is the same Judah who married a Canaanite. The same Judah who fornicated with her daughter-in-law, who he believed to be a prostitute. These are the accounts that make Muslims say the whole thing is corrupted. This is pornography in their eyes. I think this is beauty. The Bible narrates the lives of real people with real struggles. I still don’t understand why Islam wants to portray the prophets of God as sinless. If only Muslims read about David and Bathsheba…

But concerning Judah, this is the same Judah who convinced his brothers to sell Joseph into slavery, and to tell Jacob that Joseph was dead. I invite you to read The Skeleton in Judah’s Closet. Do not stop there. Continue with all the commentaries until The Final Test.

But in page 83, I saw a different Judah. A Judah that attempts to paint an accurate picture of the pitiful condition of their father by reporting his words as spoken to his sons (verses 27-29). Jacob’s beloved wife, he had said, had borne him only two sons. When the oldest went out from him (Joseph) and did not return, he was forced to conclude that this son had died, a victim of wild beasts. To take the only other second son (Benjamin), and not return with him would break his heart. Not only would he enter his grave in sorrow, but he also implied that his death would even be hastened by his grief.

At this point, Judah has no idea that he is speaking to Joseph himself.

Judah stands up for himself and his brothers and pleads for mercy.  This could have had him killed (verse 34). But Judah had promised his father to bring Benjamin back (Genesis 43:9). Judah has the chance now to keep this promise. He showed great courage and responsibility when he offered himself to stay in the place of Benjamin.

Thank you, Bible Study Fellowship (BSF)

I wish I could tell you I figured all this out on my own, but I am not that smart. This year I had the privilege of studying the Torah in detail. Once a week, for thirty long weeks, I had to go to class, and deal with my children if they cried. I also had Torah-reading homework. So these two single verses might mean nothing for a Muslim who has never read the Torah.

But for me, these two verses meant everything. God brought all my knowledge of His Word to my mind in the span of less than 3 seconds. In forty-two generations, I went from Judah to King David, and from King David to Jesus.

God was no joke. I had asked, and now it was Quran’s turn. I felt moved to fold a page, and insert it in the middle of the Quran. I had no idea what to expect, but when I opened it, I was reading exactly the same account.

They said, “We will attempt to dissuade HIS father from [keeping] him, and indeed, we will do [it].”

Quran 12:61

The more I read, the more obvious it was portrayed that in the Quran narrative the brothers really never cared about Joseph or Benjamin (note 1721 – Yusuf Ali’s Commentary). The brothers kept on hating them. They believe Benjamin to be evil, and they call Joseph a thief (note 1747). The sons are cruel and heartless against Jacob as he deals with the pain of having lost Benjamin and Joseph (note 1759). The brothers do repent when they are faced with the reality of who Joseph is. Before that, tough, there is not a single sign of regeneration (note 1767).

This might not make much sense to you, but I knew what I had prayed for. Sure, maybe both narratives have a happy ending, but God was giving me the opportunity to choose a path.

1. Torah-Brothers. Self-sacrifice. Character changed. Ready to suffer for other’s sake.

2. Quran-Brothers. Selfish until confronted with the truth. Full of hate until they had no other option.

It was a no-brainer for me. I chose the way of Christ. I chose to give away my life for the sake of others. I am not trying to convince you that I made the right choice, but I am satisfied with the answer I received from God. I asked God to show me something, and He showed me enough for me to decide that Jesus will be my Good Shepherd.

Will the Jews agree? Probably not. Will the Muslims agree? Probably not. We will never agree on anything until the day we die. Apologetics are amazing, and I love that kind of stuff, but I need a break. My husband needs a break, and my children need a break.

I know the path that I have chosen. Most of all, I am owning my decisions. If my decision of following Jesus lands me in hell, so be it. I am at peace knowing that I will have no excuse on Judgement Day. I’m taking full responsibility for my choice.

Jesus said to him, ‘If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.’

Immediately the father of the child cried out and, said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

Mark 9:23-25

My faith-life will never look the same after India. Every day, I am asking God to help my unbelief. Rich Nathan seems to think this is the posture of the Christians until the day we die. And that’s okay. I feel I’m crawling to find my way again. I might not know much, but I’m following Jesus. And if that makes no sense at all to you, that’s totally fine. I can always keep looking for the truth. I can always be looking for counter-arguments for Islam or for Christianity. But it all comes down to faith at some point. It all comes down to a PERSONAL DECISION.

This has been a bumpy ride for me. It almost feels like I’m playing hide and seek with my Creator. He seems to hide and then BAM! God screams PEEK-A-BOO right on my face. And then He hides again. And on and off, we go. He likes surprising me. And if you have no idea what I am talking about, that’s totally fine, too. I believe, tough, that someone, somewhere, relates to me right now.

It almost feels like I am saying good-bye. I am.

Judah – Part 4 will be my lost post until further notice. My family needs me. I also feel God has something vey special in store for me, and I need to retreat. I need to recharge. I need to spend as much time with God as I possible can – without my brain overthinking Islam and Christianity.

Just God and me. Together. Hand in hand, like it was at the beginning. I want to fall in love again with the God who swept me off my feet with His Unfailing Love.

Don’t miss the last part of Judah 🙂

Judah – Part 2

I heard from an Ex-Muslim from Saudi Arabia that he grew up thinking the West is so morally corrupt because their Bible is corrupt. He also grew up believing he was part of an elite group. His biggest misunderstanding was that he assumed children are born Christian if they are born into a Christian family. That concept is not present in the Bible at all.

My children are not Christians, and I have told them that plainly and clearly. I am teaching them about my faith, and how it looks to follow Jesus as Savior. But following Jesus will be their choice – and theirs alone. They will be accountable to God for that choice. My four year-old tells me to my face she does not want to follow Jesus, and at times, I can’t stop wondering if I am doing something wrong.

I sin by comparing myself to other mothers. I sin when I compare her to other cute little children on Facebook that have accepted Jesus into their hearts by age five. I know I am a human who constantly thinks about random issues. The issue of Conversion to Christianity took me, somehow, to the requirements for a Hajj Visa.

I know I will never be able to visit Makkah because I am not a Muslim. The reason for the prohibition for non-Muslim visitors relies in Quran 9:28, which states pagans are unclean. That is one version. A more reasonable version states that Saudi Arabia does not promote itself as a tourist destination. We have to understand that Makkah is a holy place where Muslims worship their Creator. Visiting Makkah as part of Hajj is a uniquely religious experience for Muslims – and Muslims alone.

I decided to research into what a new Muslim woman would have to do in order to visit Makkah. Several things need to happen. First, of course, she would have to recite her Shahada. She might be able to do this in the comfort of her house, but in order to be recognized as part of the Muslim community, she has to recite it at least once in a public setting – Muslims and an Imam.

Then, her religious leader would give her a certificate stating her new faith. This certificate has to be notarized by an Islamic Center in order for her to apply for a Hajj visa at the Saudi Arabia Embassy. The certificate does not make her a Muslim, but she needs it if she wants to visit Makkah. Also, she cannot travel alone, but needs to be accompanied by a marham. If she is above 45 years old, she can travel alone or with a group, but she would still need a notarized no-objection-to-travel letter from her husband, her son or her brother.

All these are requirements that I can reasonably understand. What I do not understand is why non-Muslims are taking risks going to Makkah when the Saudi Arabia Embassy Official Website clearly states that you might be subjected to death penalty if caught infringing their laws. Why would you risk your life for this? People are doing crazy things on the internet these days.

WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS INFORMATION?

Becoming a follower of Jesus does not look that way. A Christian is never asked to show anything to anyone, but he does have some credentials. The New Testament teaches that the proof of your TRUE conversion is the fact that you are indwelled by the Spirit of God. Anyone can say he is a Christian, but if he does not have the Spirit of Christ in them, then he does not belong to Christ.

In the other hand, if the Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in YOU, then that same Spirit will give YOU life. You are born again. Jesus explained this to Nicodemus. You cannot enter the Kingdom of God unless you are born again. You can become a new creation and a temple of God because now God lives in your body. That same sinful body – the seat of all your evil passions and desires – becomes alive in the service of God.

I have read Romans 8:9-11 countless times, and I had never seen this. Once you have the conviction in your heart of Jesus being who He says He is in the Bible, and truly confess that with your mouth, you are given eternal life. You are assured of your salvation. This, of course, is by God’s grace alone – trough faith.

As a Christian, I am possessed

I have not done extensive research on The Trinity yet, so I am not going to pretend that I can explain what took theologians centuries to develop- and are still trying to develop. But we have always had YHWH in Heaven. When you read the Gospels, you see Jesus – on Earth – claiming to be YHWH. And before He ascended into Heaven, Jesus assured His followers that they will be inhabited by a sacred pneuma – the Spirit of YHWH.

This is the Spirit of Truth that the Gospel of John talks about – not Mohammad. You need to keep on reading the narrative on the Book of Acts to understand the events that took place in Jerusalem, and how this Jesus’ Movement exploded. This Spirit possessed the apostles, and gave them incredible power. Read the whole book, it is quite interesting. Anyway, my mind takes me to random places. This indwelling by the Spirit of God made me think about demon possession.

Muslims cannot deny the possibility of being possessed by jinns. According to Quran 51:56, Allah created them. I personally do not agree with Allah creating demons, but that is one of the many differences between our theologies. Even Mohammad’s neck muscles were twitching with terror as he had his first encounter with an angel who pressed him so hardly, he could not bear it anymore.

Mohammad was afraid something might happen to him. He became so sad that he intended several times to throw himself from the tops of high mountains. Of course, we can debate forever whether this was the Archangel Gabriel or not. Whenever Gabriel appears in the Bible, He always says DO NOT BE AFRAID. Gabriel told this to the Prophet Daniel. Gabriel told this to Mary, the mother of Jesus. Gabriel told this to Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist.

I will yield to my Muslims. Maybe it was Gabriel who appeared to Mohammad. But Mohammad’s fear denotes the possibility of possession by a jinn. This is coming from Sahih tradition. It is very likely an authentic hadith. But even if it is a weak hadith that cannot be trusted, real people wrote about these things. Whether we have seen or not these demons in action does not make these demons less real.

Stay with me.

Jesus casted out demons in Mark 5:1-20. That biblical account alone freaks me out whenever I remember the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose. A Legion, in the Roman army, was about six thousand men. I do not know how many demons were in this man, but this narrative shows me the authority that Jesus had over these demons – they begged Jesus to send them into a herd of pigs.

If possession is not enough, Islam also allows for Evil Eye. Muslims guard themselves from it by reciting ruqyah, washing off the effects of envy by pouring water on a person affected, or wearing evil-eye necklaces. I respect all this. I am talking about it because the power of evil in one’s life is real. I personally reject the idea of Allah letting you be affected by Evil Eye, because I am looking at this through my Christian eyes. Christians cannot be demon possessed. But I guess we have to agree to disagree on that one.

My point is this: NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ALLAH.

As a Muslim, one of Allah’s creations – jinns – might actually posses you. On what basis then, do you reject the mere possibility that Allah – the Creator Himself- cannot posses you if He so wills it?

I understand that Tawheed does not even let a Muslim consider the crazy idea of Allah rejecting His majesty by becoming a human being in Jesus. Allah does not have and does not need to do that. I agree whole heartedly. Allah does not need to save anyone from anything. But when Muslims question the Theology of the Trinity, aren’t they putting Allah in a box? Aren’t they limiting what Allah can and cannot do? When Muslims reject the Trinity, aren’t they saying that just because they cannot understand Allah’s will, then Allah does not have the power to exercise that will?

Does Allah have the power to become a man if Allah so wills it? Absolutely. And Allah is everywhere at all times. He is not limited by our time and our space. If He so willed to walk on Earth, could He still be in Heaven at the same time? Absolutely. And after having accomplished His own purposes on Earth – whether we humanly understand them or not – is Allah able to literally posses YOU, and make your own body His own resting place? Absolutely.

My questions are not based on our ability to understand these things. Our human reasoning is limited by our own human reasoning. My questions do not rest on Allah’s desires or Allah’s needs. Allah does not need anything, nor does He need anyone. Allah is self-sufficient and self-existent. He has always been One. But being One does not limit Him to one place and one place only at any particular point in time.

IS ALLAH POWERFUL ENOUGH TO INDWELL YOU? 

The answer is YES! If you are a Muslim, I am not asking you to embrace the Trinity. I am only asking you to open your mind to the possibility of Tawheed not being the only reality. In other words, do not label Christians as polytheists based on your own understanding of the Theology of Tawheed. Granted. Maybe Tawheed is easier for you to grasp, but Tawheed is also very complex. Watch this debate if you want to.

If you are Muslim, at the very least, try to understand that Christians do not worship three gods. Allah is ONE. Let’s give each other grace. Let’s continue the dialogue 🙂

Allah or YHWH

I will always remember that it was a friendship what got me so interested in Islam.

I am still interested – more than before – but not for the same reasons I was at the beginning. In plain English, I am not converting to Islam. But as I mentioned before, you would benefit greatly from reading the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament and the Quran. It would help you to grasp much better issues that will arise when having random conversations with your Muslim friends.

YHWH or ALLAH

Issues like WHO you pray to will arise, and you need to avoid confusion. My Muslimah asked me for God’s personal name the other day. She said “God” is just a general term, and that ALLAH is His personal name. As you can already imagine, the personal name of God is surrounded by plenty of controversies. I will try to explain this issue as much as I understand. This post is not exhaustive, but I hope to share some light into this subject.

The proper name of God in the Hebrew Bible is YHWH. Even Merriam-Webster defines the tetragrammaton YHWH as the biblical proper name of God. That proper name of God is mentioned in the Hebrew Bible an astounding number of  6,220 times. Actually, if you own a Bible, wherever you see the word LORD – all uppercases – that means YHWH. Unfortunately, we do not know how to pronounce it as the name was never spoken audibly. That name was regarded by the Jews as too sacred a name to be uttered out loud.

Now, concerning ALLAH, some Christian apologists say it is only the general word for God in Arabic, but not God’s proper name. Allah is in Arabic what Elohim would be in Hebrew – God in general. Elohim appears 2, 598 times in the Bible. The same goes for the Hebrew word Adonai – a master or Lord- which in Arabic would be Rabb.  Adonai appears 448 times in the Bible. I guess all this names are nice, but when it comes to PROPHECY, all the Prophets of God for Israel used the name YHWH. And the name YHWH is nowhere to be found in Quran.

This is actually one of the reasons why the Jews do not recognize Mohammad as a prophet for Israel. He might have been a prophet for his own people – the Arabs – but not a prophet for the Jews. The most important agreement was that Abraham was the father of both the Jews (through his son Isaac) and the Arabs (through his son Ishmael). But the chief disagreement came on the issue whether Mohammed was indeed the last of the prophets to be sent by God and that his word was the final revelation. The Jews found the idea unthinkable since prophecy had end long before, and the words of the Torah could never be superseded.

Further, Mohammad maintained that the Jews had distorted their own Bible: Abraham did not attempt to sacrifice Isaac to God at Mount Moriah, one of the hills of Jerusalem; rather, Abraham took Ishmael to Mecca, where he offered to sacrifice him to Allah on the Black Stone of Kaaba. So yeah, the Jews are also upset that Muslims claim their Hebrew Bible is corrupted.

WHERE TO BEGIN?

I think all this argument starts in Exodus 3:13-15, where God talks to Moses at the burning bush. In this chapter, we find God referring to Himself as I AM. It has been long supposed that the name YHWH was derived from the verb that is used to make I AM, namely היה (haya), meaning to be or to become, or rather from an older form and rare synonym of haya, namely הוה, hawa. Hence, y-hawa or Yahweh, the proper imperfect of the verb, rendered the name HE IS. 

When God tells Moses I AM, God is saying that He has no dependence upon any other. He was, He is and He will always be. God is self-existent and He is self-sufficient, therefore NOBODY can claim this name for Himself, but Himself. THIS IS HIS NAME and ONLY HIS NAME forever.

Do not get me wrong, but I know the God that I worship. I don’t care much for His proper name. I know God’s goodness in my life. I have seen His miracles worked out for my own good and the good of others. He has blessed me greatly. So for all I know, I can call Him by the name of Thomas, and He will answer me. I am not trying to be disrespectful to my Maker. But when I pray, He knows I am praying to Him. And ONLY Him. So I personally think it is a matter of conscience.

For a Muslim, it might be difficult to call God by the name of YHWH because from birth he has always heard God’s proper name is Allah. For an uninformed Christian living in the West, Allah might sound like the God of ISIS, so he would never dare pray to Allah. But Arab Christians say Allah is God. These Arab Christians sing to Allah, and worship Allah with full understanding that Allah is the Godhead of the Trinity, and Yasūʿ al-Masih [Jesus] as their Savior.

JESUS NEVER SAID, “I AM GOD, WORSHIP ME”

You got me right there. Jesus never said that literally, but His actions spoke more than His words.

  • God is the First and the Last. Quran 57:3 and Isaiah 44:6 agree with this statement. Then you see Jesus in the Book of Revelation 1:17-18 saying, “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last”. 
  • Only God can forgive sins.  Jesus boldly forgave sins in Mark 2:5-7. What do you do with Jesus authority in light of  Quran 3:135 if only Allah can forgive sins?
  • Allah will resurrect those who are in their graves according to Quran 22:7.  Then you have Jesus saying He is the resurrection in John 11:25.
  • Allah is the Final Judge according to Quran 22:56-57. But Jesus also claimed to be the Final Judge in Matthew 25:31-32 as the Son of Man. This is the same Son of Man who will come with the clouds of heaven to judge the world according to the Prophet Daniel’s prophecy about Messiah.
  • In John 20:28, doubting Thomas says, “My Lord and My God” while referring to Jesus.
  • In Matthew 28:16-17, the eleven disciples worshipped (προσκυνέω) Jesus. They literally prostrated themselves in front of Jesus to kiss His Deity. The disciples bowed down to Jesus as Muslims bow down while doing rakaʿāt.

I AM – A BIG DEAL UNDER MOSAIC LAW

In John 8:48-58, the Jewish religious leaders are accusing Jesus of being possessed by a demon. Jesus replied that Abraham rejoiced at the fact of one day seeing Jesus’ day. The leaders then mocked Jesus saying He was not even fifty years old, and here He was claiming to have seen Abraham.

‘Very truly I tell you’, Jesus answered, ‘before Abraham was born, I AM!’  At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.

John 8:58

Why were the Jewish religious leaders so upset about what Jesus said? They wanted to stone Him… Was it just because they did not personally like Him? Of course not! It was because of what Jesus was claiming to be. The I AM that Jesus mentioned here goes back directly to God’s own name that God can only claim for Himself. That name YHWH that God gave Moses in Exodus 3:14.

This was a blatant blasphemy for any Jew in Jesus’ time. Jesus was claiming to be YHWH. Such a statement was punishable by death under Mosaic Law. That is why they grabbed the stones. They literally wanted to kill Him. From a legal standpoint, though, the Jews could not execute a person by stoning anymore, for the Romans had taken from them the option of implementing capital punishment directly (John 18:31). The Jews were required to go through the Roman judicial system for executions, and for a non-Roman, that meant crucifixion.

This sheds a lot of light in my research of non-Christian sources to provide evidence that Jesus actually died on the cross. There are plenty. I will write about each one individually because this is one of my main interests lately.

Jesus was hanged on Passover Eve. Forty days previously the herald had cried, “He is being led out for stoning, because he has practiced sorcery and led Israel astray and enticed them into apostasy. Whosoever has anything to say in his defense, let him come and declare it.” As nothing was brought forward in his defense, he was hanged on Passover Eve.

Babylonian Talmud. Sanhedrin (43a)

What apostasy was Jesus leading Israel into? Obviously His claims to be God. He claimed to be YHWH. Even the commentary of the Quran that I am reading (by Abdullah Yusuf Ali) acknowledges the fact that the Jews charged Jesus with blasphemy as claiming to be God (note 395). And the sorcery? Well, the Jewish leaders were ascribing Jesus’ miracles to the power of demons.

But as I see it, Jesus talked like He was God. Jesus acted like He was God. And Jesus gave evidence for claiming this authority rightfully. Although Jesus never uttered the words I AM GOD, I believe His real identity is established by the proof that He gave. After all the evidence, why would Jesus have to give anybody a statement? If people are open for the truth, they will recognize this evidence. Those who ignore this evidence won’t even be convinced if Jesus were to add the statement they demand from Him.

When in doubt ask YHWH. ALLAH promises to be found when you seek Him with all your heart 🙂